My Other List

I've started a list of 1001 gifts of grace to work gratitude into my heart and daily life.  I'm noticing and appreciating more God moments and little blessings and doing my best to give him all the praise and glory.

There's another list that I'm working on.  It's a list of 101 things I want to do in the next 1001 days (approximately 2.75 years).  I finished it on paper in December and have since added it to the blog.  I will update the page on the blog as I'm able to cross things off the list.  And I'll try to do separate blog postings for those items which might be more interesting.  Some items are spiritual, some are financial, some are practical, some are just plain random.  Some have been on my mental to do list for a while.  I hope that having them written down and a timeline will help me accomplish some of these goals.

Anyway, one that I crossed off on Tuesday night was leaving a 100% tip for a waiter or waitress.  We got about 4 inches of snow on Tuesday night, but since hubby and I happened to be out on the other side of town anyway, we decided to go to dinner and use one of the gift cards we had received for Christmas.

Now here's my little soap box.  Christians are often known in the food service industry as poor tippers.  I've heard many servers complain about being scheduled for Sunday afternoon when they'll have to wait on the after church crowd because they know the tips won't be that great.  One friend of ours was trying to live out her faith and share it with her co-workers while working at a restaurant.  Her testimony was often hindered when a pastor would stiff one of her friends or someone would leave a tract instead of a tip. In my humble opinion, Christians should be the most generous tippers as they use any opportunity to interact with another person as an opportunity to show them grace and Christ's love.

Stepping down from soap box...

Please don't think that I'm bragging on what we did Tuesday night, or that I think it makes me some super holier than thou Christian.  In all honesty, I stole the idea from someone else's 101 list because I thought it sounded cool.  But we used the gift card to pay for most of our meal and then paid for it again as the tip on our debit card.  I don't really know anything about the young woman who waited on us, and we didn't stick around to see her reaction.  But it was a slow snowy night and I'm sure she wasn't too excited to be there.  We prayed as we left that the Lord would use this act of generosity to glorify himself.  Maybe in heaven he'll tell me her story and how it fits in his eternal story of grace.

Humble Beginnings

My husband and I began our marriage in a rather unconventional way. The day after we returned from our honeymoon we packed up our cars and moved to camp. God had called us to work with teenagers for the summer, to love on them, teach them truth, and serve alongside them as they came to camp two weeks at a time. Our home for that summer was pretty swanky by camp standards. It had a kitchen, a queen size bed, and we even had our own shower. We didn't have to walk outside to a bath-house and had a little more privacy than most of the summer staff. However, compared to what I always imagined my first married house to be, our little fifth-wheel trailer was a bit of a let down. I almost cried the night we first moved in, but over the course of the summer, our little shady spot in "Maple Grove" became home.

This particular camp has become one of my favorite places on the planet. God works so mightily there and I love connecting with him through his creation in ways that aren't as easy in the city. This past weekend we got to go back home. We took 70 high school students and leaders to camp for a weekend retreat. And we saw the Spirit move big time. There was a great speaker, wonderful times of worship, meaningful small group conversations, and lives were changed. We're praying that the Spirit continues to move in the lives of our students now that we've returned to reality and that the commitments they made will be lasting.

Hubby and I visiting our first home this past weekend.

Gifts of grace that I'm counting this week...
65. a day of rest and worship

66. baby movements while Daddy was talking to my tummy

67. a weekend at "home"

68. lunch with our mentors/friends

69. vulnerability of our students

70. knowing we can't fix their lives and turning to the one who can

71. sleep in my own bed

72. popcorn for dinner

73. a sassy new haircut

74. the dish fairy and her light hanging husband (aka my mom and dad)

75. the anticipation of seeing inside my belly (tomorrow!)

76. hopes to one day see our little one encounter God at camp

Gifts of Grace Taken for Granted

The begining of this list is from the week of December 20th. I just never got around to hitting publish.

33. health insurance
34. encouragement for my husband
35. a full refrigerator
36. no more lease payments
37. friends who understand when it's one of those days
38. my "nieces" and the joy they bring us
39. singing the Hallelujah Chorus
40. mornings when the Father knows best
41. a Friday night with my hubby, candles, the Christmas tree, and card writing
42. a willing, obedient Savior

The second half of this post is in response to the reading I've been doing the past couple of days. I'm about halfway through "When Helping Hurts: How to Allieviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor and Yourself" by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert. I'm really enjoying the book as it's a biblical perspective on my social work training. I'm also surprised by how much the authors emphasize that the Lord created us to be stewards, he created us to work. Adam and Eve weren't just to hang out in the garden, but they were there to tend to the garden. I currently work in workforce development, helping people find and retain jobs but I hadn't given much thought to the God given purpose of my work. Needless to say, this book has been an inspiring and enjoyable read for me the last couple of days.

It has also brought me to a humbled place of realization today, recognizing many gifts that I have been given throughout my lifetime that I have completely taken for granted. Here's the second part of my grace gift list for this post.

43. Never having to wonder if I would eat today
44. Never wondering if I would go to college, but rather where
45. Never lacking for a shower, soap, shampoo, toothpaste
46. Access to huge grocery stores and the means to buy most anything I wanted
47. A pantry and two refridgerators filled with (mostly) healthy food
48. Clean water that I can drink right from the tap
49. The ability to wash and dry my clothes with machines
50. Never having to choose between medication and food
51. Never worrying about having to live on the street
52. Heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer
53. Electricity that's on all day
54. Access to information
55. The ability to read and enjoy it
56. A solid support system
57. Never worrying about if my baby will be loved and accepted by our family
58. A bed to sleep on and a pillow under my head
59. Hot water when I want it
60. Shoes on my feet and pairs to spare in my closet
61. Laundry detergent, dog food, a hair dryer, paid vacation days
62. So much more than I need or deserve
63. The appreciation for what I've been given
64. The desire to share it with others

Gifts of Grace

Starting this week, I'm going to try and actually write down one thing each day as opposed to trying to come up with a list on Monday night. Maybe I could fill a few pages of one of my mostly empty journals.

Gifts of grace I'm grateful for this week

24. the blank pages of a new calendar

25. a just-in-time, hand-me-down snow blower

26. Sam's snow day dance

27. a husband who gets up to scrape and start my car

28. ministry through baked goods for our neighbors and my boys

29. Christmas movies that make me cry (granted lots of things make me cry right now, but Elf gets me every year)

30. an album that tells not only the story of Christmas, but of creation and the cross

31. "Little Lambs" climbing in my lap on Sunday morning

32. clean sheets

An intentional, creative, and trashy Christmas wreath

I've been convicted this year to really be intentional about how we budget for Christmas. The hope is to give more to others who have real needs rather than just overindulging for ourselves.

In order to keep things in check, we've limited gifts for each other to one from each of the following categories: Something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. (I totally stole this from someone else in blogland. Can't remember who, but thanks!) It's made shopping much more fun for me this year, as it's forced me to be more creative as well as intentional.

I also decided that I didn't want to spend money on additional Christmas decor. We've pretty much filled our green and red tubs with things we'd brought into marriage from childhood, hand-me-downs and items purchased in years past. The one thing that was missing was a wreath for the front door. Last year I bought a fresh one from a friend at work whose son was selling them for a fundraiser. That wasn't an option this year, so I headed to the craft store to find something cute. I was hopeful that I wouldn't have to spend much, especially since Christmas decor was 50% off. But to my surprise, the cheapest wreath was going to run me at least $30 at half off. Thirty dollars is not an huge amount, but I could not justify needing what was at one point a $60 wreath.

Over the weekend, my husband had hung an old wreath that I made in elementary school on the front door. It's made out of a wire coat hanger and white plastic trash bags. It's not fresh or new but it looks pretty good from the street with a big red bow on it. Most importantly, it fits our convictions to spend less and give more. So we're having an intentional, creative, and a little trashy Christmas this year.

In case anyone wants to recreate the wreath, here's a quick how to. It was always special to me to have this wreath hanging on my bedroom door as a child.

You'll need:

A wire hanger

Lots of white trash bags cut into one inch wide, 6 inch long strips

Ribbon for a bow

It will probably require sharp scissors to cut the trash bags well. You can make your strips shorter or longer depending on the desired fluffiness for your wreath.

Bend the wire hanger into as best a circle as you can. It doesn't have to be perfect, but should be somewhat round. The hook of the hanger will become the hook that your wreath hangs from.

Simply tie the strips of trash bag around the wire hanger. I would recommend double knotting. Scrunch them together as you make your way around the hanger. The more trash bag strips you tie on, the fuller your wreath will be.

Add a pretty bow and you've got a beautiful white fluffy wreath to hang anywhere in the house.

A first hot chocolate

This week's gifts from my Abba...

11. a first hot chocolate warming cold hands

12. my boys

13. listening to father/"son" bonding time

14. chances to serve alongside our students
15. time to dream with my husband
16. keeping my snuggie in my cubicle

17. homemade stew
18. my photographer friend
19. pictures worthy of frames

20. honest conversation complete with tears

21. family room worship
22. hearing the gospel proclaimed through song at the mall
23. entering a season of growth

too much and not enough

i need to write more and read less

for the moment.

too much data swimming in my brain,

no time to process,

so little output.

i need filters

so that only what is true, noble and right,

finds its way inside.

So that the output might be

simply pure and lovely.

instead of constantly consuming

and feeling famished,

i want to give and find myself full.

The Start of My Gift List

It's been a while. I felt kind of stifled in regards to writing because the one thing that I wanted to write most about, wasn't something to be shared yet. So I didn't write at all.

Anyway this is my first gratitude post of what will hopefully be many. I'm starting on a journey to uncover 1000 gifts. Perhaps you'll figure out the secret as I list the blessings I've been enjoying the past couple of days.

1. The company and companionship of my husband after his safe return from Mexico.
2. The anticipation that comes with advent.
3. An understanding of Mary's anticipation of motherhood.
4. An honest time of worship.
5. Christmas music on Pandora.
6. A clean car.
7. A clean kitchen.
8. A bag of maternity clothes that are just my size.
9. A snuggly Schnauzer.
10. A blanket that makes it finally feel real.

Admiring Obedience

Amy and I met over the internet. We were both going to grad school at a large university and looking for a Christian roommate. We lived in an apartment together for a year. When our lease was up, we still had a semester left of our program, so rather than lock in another year lease or pay higher month to month rent, we both moved in with my parents for 4 months and commuted to school. She's incredibly quiet until you get to know her. I remember the first time we met for lunch, I talked pretty much the entire time because Amy was so quiet. She taught me to be a better listener and to be comfortable with silence in order to make space for others to share. We learned to be social workers together and shared our lives with one another in the process.

A few months ago, Amy was laid off from her job. Today she got on an airplane and landed in Guatemala City. She'll be there for 6 months. It's been really neat to see her seek out God's will for her life while deciding what she would do next after being laid off. She doesn't know what the Lord has planned for her long term, but she knows he's called her to serve him and his people. And for now she's going to do that in Guatemala. I admire her obedience, her trust in the Lord and her courage, and I'm excited to see what God's going to do in her own heart through this experience as well. Please pray for Amy as she transitions to this new phase of life, for her protection, her sanctification, and for God's glory and amazing grace to shine through her.

She just started a blog to chronicle this adventure. You can read more here.

Joy in New Beginnings

The room is painted and prayed over. God gave us two extra days to get ready in that Sam missed his original flight. But the Hubby picked him up from the airport this afternoon.

Now the boys are playing guitar together. I should say the Hubby is teaching Sam guitar. Can you imagine learning how to play in instrument from someone who's not speaking your native language? It's a bit crazy, this whole thing is a bit crazy, but it's making me laugh and smile and excited for the year to come.

An Answered Prayer

We've been praying for God to give us a way to use the blessing of our four-bedroom house to bless others. Our guest bedroom has been used two nights this week and will be used on Saturday as well.

But the ultimate answer to that prayer will be moving into one of our other bedrooms come Sunday. We have decided to host a foreign exchange student from South Korea for this upcoming school year. Sam arrives on Sunday evening and starts school on Tuesday morning taking us from being DINKs (Dual Income No Kids) to the youngest "parents" at the Christian high school in less than 48 hours.

God gave us so many opportunities to accept an exchange student into our home, and after much prayer and consideration we're excited to start on this new adventure. Even though we're not set on Christian school for our own kids when they come along someday, we thought that was the best option for this experience. We have a great support network there of families from our church, whereas we would be so lost with a student in the large public school district where we live.

We're excited for the opportunity to share our lives with another person. I've come to a new understanding of parenthood as the ultimate opportunity for discipleship and see this temporary parenthood as a chance to practice that. We're excited for how the Lord will use this experience to stretch us and sanctify us as we learn to be more selfless.

Please be in prayer for Sam as he travels half-way across the world and for his jet-lag as he starts school. Pray that I will cast all my anxieties on the Lord because He cares for me, when it comes to last minute details. And please pray for our new family as we open up our home, our lives, and our hearts for the Lord to do an amazing work full of love and grace.

The Fruits of His Labors

This week we're enjoying the bounty of our backyard garden. I'm amazed by how big our plants have grown and how much produce has come from those tiny seeds we started with. We've made pickles, zucchini bread, pesto, along with numerous salads and sides of grilled veggies.

One of the reasons I enjoy gardening so much, perhaps because God's still working on my patience, is that with gardening in a short period of time, my efforts pay off, produce fruit, and bring me and others joy.

In ministry, we find things look both similar and different compared with gardening. Similar in that God uses us to plant seeds of truth in people's lives, to provide nourishment and nurturing as people grow in their faith, and to water people's souls with encouragement and fellowship. These spiritual seeds are different from the plants in my garden in that it often takes much longer to see the fruit in people's lives, sometimes years, and sometimes we don't even get to see it at all. Sometimes God only uses us to plant, or to nourish, or to water and we don't get to see the complete process. And sometimes impatient people like me get frustrated when we're asked to wait until heaven to see and enjoy the fruits of the labor God gives us.

That's when I have to stop and praise the Creator for his unending patience with me, his patience to tend to my heart and trim back the sinfulness and selfishness inside me. He's the perfect gardener, things ripen in his perfect timing and he prunes out of love with grace.

The Stuff Summer's Made Of

In the summer we're blessed to have families in the church host us in their homes for youth group during the week and bonfires on Sunday nights.

These families feed us,

And invite us into their homes.

We get to hang out, play games and build relationships with our students,

And God is glorified through their hospitality and grace.

I'm unwrapping this gift today at Tuesday's Unwrapped.

Sick of Playing Games

I've started playing the game again.

The one where I tell the world how great you are,

and then try to do it all on my own.

The one where I profess how much I love you with my words,

but hurt you with my actions.

The one where I claim you as my best friend,

but neglect to spend any time with you.

The one where I try to act like I have it all together

when it's really all falling apart.

It's way to easy to start this game and so hard to stop.

And I never win.

I end up a cheater, a liar, full of pride, and far from you.

Thank you for the mercy that draws me near again.

Thank you for the freedom that is offered in your victory over my silly games, my sin.

Thank you for opening my eyes to the lies. Keep them fixed on you instead.

Excited to Serve

I've been convicted that we need to use our big empty house to serve others with hospitality. (It's more empty than big ;-) So we're having visitors tonight. A sleepover with three adorable little kiddos so that our friends can have a night out for their anniversary.

I'm exhausted from the week behind me and overwhelmed looking at the week before me. But I'm thrilled to be able to serve our friends tonight and love on their little ones.

Finding Freedom

I love the idea of journaling. I love the idea of being able to open one of those old notebooks and relive years of my life gone by. I love the idea of being able to look back on what the Lord has brought me through, how he's answered prayers and shown himself faithful.

But there's something about a new journal that intimidates me. Much like this blogging business intimidates me. There are so many pages, and I'm supposed to fill them all? With what? What if I write the wrong thing, what if I feel stupid when I read it later in life, what if my hand writing is too sloppy? Should I date each page? Is it important to record the time of day? Should I sign off in a certain way?

I have too many expectations of what a journal is supposed to be. As I was looking through my old ones, I noticed most of them started with intention. They started with a page of what this journal was going to be about. I started multiple journals in which I was going to keep a record of just the highlight of each day; I started one journal just before starting college with hopes of recording that part of my life; I started prayer journals; I always started with expectations.

That's how I've accumulated a pile of blank pages; a pile of mostly empty journals. With too many expectations of what a journal is supposed to be and not enough freedom to just be.

But freedom comes packaged with grace, tucked inside with the newspaper and bubble wrap. I just need to take the freedom out of the box and put it to good use.

More Questions than Answers

I have more questions than answers.

What am I going to write about? Will anybody read what I write? Does it matter if anyone reads it or not?

One thing I know is that GRACE is something I can't live without and it's something that I want to share.